Я не переводчик, тем более не очень владею деловой лескикой. Поэтому не берусь исправлять весь текст, тем более, что русский текст тоже не совсем корректен, учитывая правила деловой переписки.
Напишу, как бы я составила такое письмо (это в основном автору ветки предназначается, не переводчику )
Во-первых, принято сначала упомянуть, откуда известно, что можно обратиться к этой фирме с предложением, а потом обязательно написать о себе и своей фирме, Чтобы люди знали, с кем имеют дело, а не сразу с места в карьер наступать с деловым предложением. Например так (курсивом выделены варианты):
1)
We owe your address to ...
Your name has been given to us by ...
You have been recommended to us by...
Your articles have been recommended to us.
We have read / seen your advertisement in ...
During a visit to the ... fair, we saw...
We have learnt from our business friends that you have introduced a new article on the market / you are a manufacturer of ...
2)
As a .... with excellent business contacts throughout Germany, we feel that your product will sell well here. That is why we would like to make you an offer / ... to offer co-operation and are ready to buy substantial amounts of your products (for further distribution).
3)
At the moment we are especially interested in buying the following goods / products / items / articles:
4)
We should appreciate detailed information about your prices for the above mentioned products as well as your terms of delivery and payment.
(Please let us have your prices for.... and inform us on what terms you can supply.
Please quote your lowest / keenest prices for... and let us know your terms...)
If your prices are competitive / favourable / reasonable, ..., we would be able to place substantial orders with you in future.
5)
We hope to hear from you soon.
We look forward to hearing from you soon / ... to receiving your answer.
We look forward to an early reply.
Может здесь найдутся специалисты и поправят меня.
Для Оксаны:
- у тебя слишком часто повторяется I am interested (3 раза в таком маленьком письме)
- at a price (not under a price)
- place an order (not make)