В целом хорошо. Пару мелочей могу отметить. Кстати, комбинация слов через тире - это особенность немецкого, а в английском это не принято.
Вот моя (несколько творческая) корректура:
Dear Shareholder of XXX,
On the occasion of this year's Shareholders Meeting of ХХХ AG... we presented to you the attached SWOT-Analysis for the ХХХ AG from the point of view of 22 out of 33 Suppliers. It does not only demonstrate strengths and weaknesses of the ХХХ AG as compared to 3 international competition cooperations (competitors?) but also clearly points out opportunities and risks for the ХХХ.
As we already mentioned in Moscow, we would like to ask for your Feedback on the ХХХ today.
How do you estimate personally from the point of view of a Shareholder of XXX
 Strengths
 Weaknesses
 Opportunities
 Threats
for the ххх AG?
Please take a few minutes to answer these 4 charts.
On the occasion of the next supervisory board meeting on 3rd of November 2009 we would like to discuss the results with the members of the supervisory board and to draw conclusion concerning the Strategy "bis 2015 TOP 14/07 Principles and strategies of ХХХ" which was presented on the occasion of the Shareholders Meeting in Prague. Please use this opportunity to contribute to developing this strategy for the benefit of all Shareholders of XXX.
Thanks a lot for your support.